I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

Someone help me I've fallen and I can't get up!

I fell on my ass and fallen into this fat trap

Held captive by McDonalds and Burger King

Being tortured in ex-tasty by Candy and Chip

Drowning in a sea of sugary liquid

Someone help me I've fallen and I can't get up!

I try to get up but they have me emotionally

bounded

Drawn in by the appeal of fast cuisine and addicted

to the taste on my tongue

Help me

I escape before but this time seems different

Why is it so hard?

Is it because I'm Lazy?

Is it because I'm tired of trying?

Is it because I work both nights and days?

Is it because I'm depressed?

I've fallen and broken my motivation

I've fallen and lost my will to succeed

Somebody help me, anybody

Ebonydivine g

Weddings, Houses and Babies Oh My!

First comes love then comes marriage and then comes the baby carriage. That's how it usually goes right? 2011 seems to be there year. I've been to baby showers, engagements, weddings and house warmings. I cannot be happier for my family, friends and co-workers. I mean that's what life is about, growing up getting married and starting a family in a new home. For many that's their dream. Good for them. I'm Happy for them from the bottom of my heart.

When you've reach a certain age or been in a relationship for a certain period of time people start to push their expectations on you. I have lost count of the "When are you getting married" or "You guys should buy a condo" You never hear "Let me pay for your wedding" or "Here's a condo, on me" Ha! the odds of hearing that are slimmer than me winning lotto 649 Jackpot. Then once you have the marriage and the home, they'll will be pressuring you to have a child. It never ends.

The funniest thing to me is it's not even my parents saying this stuff. Sometimes its people I hardly even know or speak to. Do what works for you and I'll do what works for me.

I was never the little girl dreaming of her dream wedding, her prince charming and having a bunch of ankle biters. As I grew up and now that I'm getting older I am just now entertaining the idea. I am lucky enough to have found awesome lover, friend and soul-mate. As a matter of fact I have no doubt in my mind that he will be my future husband, future father of my child(yes I've agree to ONE). However this will happen in due time when WE are good and ready. In the mean time you do you and I'll do me.

Ebonydivine g

In The Thick Of Things

Thick, Fit, Strong, Round are all words used to described me at one time or another throughout my teen to adult life. Most would take it as a complement but I never liked it. To be honest those terms translated to me that I was fat! It was just a "Nice" way of telling me so.

For years I struggled with my weight. It was hard because everyone would always say "You don't need to lose weight" Many of those people were the same ones trying to lose weight themselves and were clearly smaller than I. So it's okay for me but not for you eh? Laughable.

Being that I am 5'9 1/2 I could understand why most people would think I didn't have a weight problem especially since according to them I carried the weight in "all the right places"

My highest weight was 210 lbs and even at that weight people would say that I wasn't over weight, I was thick.. Like really are you blind? That was about 8 years ago and I swore I would never be that heavy again. My up and down road to weight loss was long winding and never ending. I reach my lowest weight last summer of 164 and now I'm back to 187. I''m not embarrassed or ashamed but I am disappointed. It was done before and it can be done again.

Part of me has learned to embrace that I will never be thin and will always be somewhat "Thick" I know now that it's not a bad thing. So here I am at my desk typing away under a pseudonym that I use to cringe at "Thick"..That is what I am and so many want to be.. so why not take it and roll with it?

This is my introduction. This is my story. This is my life.

Diary of a Thick Chick

Ebonydivine g